Dare to be You

Email this Article

We found that there are many pay-offs to not being an authentic 'you'.  By being the follower and not the leader in the team, you get to avoid the responsibility that comes with being 'in charge'.  By choosing to take a non-assertive approach with others, you don't get the blame when things go wrong - someone else made the decision.  Sometimes people want to take care of you and look after you, which can make you feel loved and cared for. 

Doesn't sound so bad does it!  The penalties for not being authentic though are just as compelling.  By not letting your friends, family or work colleagues know what you really think, you are hiding your authentic self from them.  They don't really get to know you if you only show them the part that agrees with everybody else.

When you never take an opportunity to tell others what you would love to do on the weekend or where you want to go for a holiday, you risk having an unlived life.  The decisions about where to go and what to do are made by others and by going along, you may keep the peace but haven't fed that little part of you deep inside that wants to experience your own desires.

An unlived life is a life of other people's choices.  As women, we learn from a young age the value that others place on us being agreeable, likeable, kind and considerate.  Many woman believe that once they let others know what their needs are, they wil be viewed as selfish and self-centred. 

This is far from the truth.  Whilst it may take a little adjustment from family who are not used to hearing you share your preference about an activity; most welcome knowing a bit more about you.  At work where colleagues are sometimes less supportive, speaking up about your needs, preferences and choices may be more difficult at first, but greatly increases your chance at improving your job environment. 

Do you want to live a life filled with only the desires and dreams of other people, even if they are closest to you?  Reinvent your future by daring to be you and showing others the spark that makes you unique.  Let them into your own wants and needs and learn to take some of that 'life energy' for you.

With warm wishes
Irene